Good company is good health.

Start with an honest count. Who would you call with bad news? Who did you last laugh with until it hurt? Which group would notice if you stopped showing up? Write the names down. Most men find the list shorter than they expected.

You are not alone in that. In a 2021 survey of U.S. adults, 15 percent of men said they had no close friends, five times the share in 1990. Men with at least six close friends fell from 55 percent to 27 percent over the same period.

There is no proven right number of friends, so do not chase one. Look for the gaps: no confidant, no regular company, or no group. The steps below are sorted by those gaps.

Friendship is built from time, and adult life does not hand that time out. Between 2003 and 2020, the time Americans spent in person with friends fell from 60 minutes a day to 20, according to the U.S. Surgeon General's 2023 advisory.

The fix is boring and it works: a standing appointment. Thursday dinner, Saturday morning run, the first Sunday of the month. A fixed slot removes the planning, which is where most friendships quietly end.

The hours add up faster than you think. One evening a week is more than 150 hours a year. Pick people you laugh with. Laughing together raised pain tolerance in a set of small experiments, a hint that it does something physical, though that evidence is thin.

A call does not need an hour or an appointment. Ten minutes on the way to the train is enough. Open with the truth: "I was thinking of you and wanted to hear your voice for a few minutes."

Two sets of experiments back this up. When 200 people reconnected with an old friend, those assigned to call felt a stronger bond than those who emailed. They had expected the call to be awkward. It was not, and it took about the same time as writing the email.

The unplanned part matters as well. In experiments with 5,900 participants, people underestimated how much a check-in would be appreciated, and the gap was largest when the contact came as a surprise. The call you hesitate to make is usually the one that lands best.

Meeting a friend does not have to mean sitting across a table and reporting on your life. Lift together. Do the grocery run together. Cook, walk the dog, fix the bike, watch the game. Doing something side by side takes the pressure off the conversation, and the conversation tends to come anyway.

It also solves the time problem, because these are hours you spend regardless. In the friendship studies from step 2, the hours that counted were leisure hours: hanging out, joking around, playing games. Hours spent working together counted for less.

We found no trial comparing side-by-side with face-to-face time. Treat this step as practical advice that fits the research, not as a tested method.

Company is one thing. Being known is another. Pick one person and tell them what is really going on: the worry about your health, the job, the marriage. It does not have to be solved. It has to be said.

Men do this less. In the 2021 survey, 21 percent of men had received emotional support from a friend in the past week, against 41 percent of women.

If you have a partner, start there, and do not stop there. Among married men, 85 percent said their spouse is the first person they turn to with a personal problem. One person carrying everything is a fragile setup, for both of you. Add one friend or a brother to the list. If there is nobody, a therapist is a good first listener, and a sound choice on its own merits.

One-to-one friendships depend on two calendars. A group keeps going when you are busy, and it brings new people without any effort from you. A run club, a five-a-side team, a choir, a volunteer shift, a faith community. The topic matters less than the fixed day.

In a study of 424 people in England followed through their first six years of retirement, those who kept both of their groups had a 2 percent risk of death. Those who lost one had 5 percent, and those who lost both had 12 percent. The authors found the effect comparable to that of regular exercise. It is an observational study, so it cannot prove that the groups were the cause.

Not every contact has to be deep. Learn the barista's name. Ask the neighbor how the move went. Nod to the regular at the gym, then say something next time.

In a set of small studies, people reported more happiness and a stronger sense of belonging on days when they had more of these casual exchanges than usual. It is the cheapest step in this protocol, and it is where new friendships start.